Thursday, July 24, 2008

I Think I'm Ready

If you follow me on Twitter then you already know that we had to say good-bye to our dog, Mako, on Tuesday evening.

Last month we had taken him to the vet after noticing a rather large bump appearing on his hip. After taking some fluid from it, the vet recommended having it removed. For the price of 1300+! We asked if it was removed would it then come back, but nobody could tell us. After many discussions we decided that we weren't going to be able to pay the money so we would have to just let it go for now, but keep a close eye on it in case something changed. The vet was concerned that Mako had lost a few pounds so we decided to give him what he always wanted, wet dog food to encourage him to eat. Eat he least for a few days. Then we noticed that even the wet dog food would stay in his bowl for a day or two at a time. Of course during this time we were giving him plenty of people food in hopes he would receive enough nourishment.

Throughout the past month he had his good days and bad days. He would chase the car, greet Dave everyday, howl at the fire house alarm, and do tricks for the kids to get them to give him a treat. Then other days he would lie around maybe wag a tail now and then and only raise his head when you moved. On Tuesday, he seemed to be fine in the morning, but I noticed in the afternoon that he was breathing laboriously. It sounded like he was all stuffed up. He didn't ask to go outside all day, but waited till Dave got home before he went out. He then moved to around to lay in all his favorite places around the house. Under the deck where he had a huge hole, in front of the garage, in the front yard where he could watch everything, and his final resting place under a tree at the side of our front deck.

Dave had been outside after dinner to help a neighbor and spent some time petting him. He then came in the house very upset and told me he didn't think Mako would last much longer. I guess part of me had a feeling too because I couldn't bring myself to go outside to see him. Now, of course, I regret that very much, but I realize that it was just my way of dealing with what was probably going to happen. I focused on getting the kids in bed, reading Zoe many books while Dave read Harry Potter with Dyl, and sharing lots of hugs and kisses. Afterwards I asked Dave if we should go bring Mako in and he told me to go ahead. As I went out on the front porch I noticed Mako lying beside the front deck. His bright white illuminated from light from the windows and the moonlight. As I called his name. Nothing. He didn't move his head and I didn't hear the familiar rattle of the name tags on his collar. I knew. I called my neighbor, Steve, to come out and check because I was afraid to go tell Dave. Steve, confirmed that he had died, so I was left to go tell Dave.

I knew Dave would be devastated so that was probably the hardest thing I have ever had to tell him. He went outside to say his goodbye. We ended up wrapping Mako in a blanket and then driving over to my inlaws house where they had told us we could bury him under a tree. If you know me at all I rely strongly on humor to get me through rough times, so all I kept thinking about was how we must have looked at 11 o'clock at night digging a hole and then going to the back of the truck and carrying a white sheet covering something up. Good thing the neighbors were too nosey. We finally put him in his resting place and my in-laws later spread the ashes of their beloved Rufus, which they still had from his death awhile ago, with Mako. We figured at least they could be together!

It's been kind of rough without him around the house. I still get sad when somebody knocks and there isn't a bark, the fire alarm goes off and there isn't a howl, pulling in the driveway without a dog running to greet us, and all the food that just sits on the plates without anybody trying to steal it. The kids have taken in pretty well. I suppose in their short lives it is because they have not experienced much loss or sorrow so it is all relative to them. They reminisce about good times with Mako and every now and then will blurt out that they miss him, but other than that they are doing just fine. Probably better than mommy and daddy, actually. Dylan's first question was, but we can get another puppy right? Maybe someday. For now I will just remember the times we shared with our Mako.

    Memories like...
  • Dave and I rescued Mako from a dog shelter. He was the smallest in his liter and nobody wanted him. I remember the first time I entered his little area and he ran over, jumped in my lap, and started licking me all over. I knew he was coming home with us!!

  • His real name was Snoopy, I suppose because of his black and white fur, but we renamed him Mako.

  • He always had super big ears that were just too darn cute on his little body. Later he pretty much grew into them, but they were still tall, pointy ears.

  • He loved coming to beach with us before we moved here. He enjoyed riding on my lap in the front seat. Dave always warned me there would be a day I would regret letting him do it, but I let him anyways. And I regretted it when a 60lb dog thought he could sit on my lap on a car ride.

  • Boy did he love car rides!!

  • We adopted him a year before we were married so he went through our wedding, a move to the beach, new jobs, two babies, my college degree, my first teaching experience.

  • He loved his Dylan and Zoe. He would lay with the kids when they were babies, guarded them while they grew, barking incessantly if one left the yard, and would come running to play with them.

  • He was in heaven when we would take him to the beach. He loved running in the sand and into the water. He would ride the waves and run away when it looked like they were going to crash on him.

  • He liked to come on fishing trips too. He would sit and just bark every time Dave would hold his pole. He never barked for anybody else. I guess he figured if anybody would catch the fish it would be his dad.

  • Fireworks and thunderstorms scared him out of his wits. He would then try to crawl behind you if you were sitting or get underneath you if you were in bed. As he got older we were able to put him in our closet without any windows and then he would be fine.

  • During the summer you could usually find him laying on the marble in the foyer or bathroom, on the tiles in the kitchen, or on the ac vents.

These, of course, are just some of the many memories that we will hold in our hearts about our Mako. He was the best doggy friend any family could hope for.

We will miss you!

Have fun running around in those fields in Heaven, buddy!!


  1. What a cute dog- he was loved. Lots of love to your family and kids.

  2. I'm so sorry! It is so hard to lose a furry friend.

  3. Losing a pet is so hard. Our dog passed away almost three years ago and I still miss her.

  4. I'm so sorry Mel. Big hugs to you. Loosing a pet is never easy. Sounds like Mako made the most of his time here on Earth and that he went peacefully.

  5. It sounds like Mako had a wonderful life as part of your family and will be missed like crazy. ((more hugs))

  6. I'm sorry - it's very difficult to lose a pet, especially when he has been with you for so long.

    Thanks for sharing your memories with us.

  7. Honestly, I couldnt' read everything, too upsetting...
    I feel your pain, our Chester passed as well.

    I feel your pain and I have been thinking of you as well.


  8. oh my. I cant stop sobbing. I am so sorry for your loss.... well, all of our losses because we really loved Mako too. The kids will take it hard so I will wait until Josh gets home to tell them. BIG HUGS to you guys. We love you

  9. What a great tribute to Mako. It's hard to lose such a member of our families.

    Hugs to you all!

    BTW, the picture with Mako with sand on his nose is adorable!

  10. This is so sad... :( Goodbye Mako
    Hope you guys are doing ok... What you wrote about him was very nice, thanks for sharing!

  11. dammit, you made me cry. A wonderful tribute to your dog -- he's having a great time up there! I hope he meets two beautiful labs named Toto and Kiva -- they'll all be good friends.

  12. Mel - I am soooo sad and can't stop crying. I am so sorry to hear abt. Mako....... :(

  13. I am so sorry Mel. It is so hard to lose a furry friend.

  14. You were right,I cried! Decided to wait until I got home to read it. A beautiful tributd to a exceptionally wonderful dog. My favorite memory was when Dylan was a new babe and if anyone but the two of you tried to move toward him or pick Dylan up, Mako would block our way. He loved you guys and was a great protector...and I loved having him sit on my lap! Hugs to all of you. He will be missed but he was so lucky to have you as his family. Love, Aunt Steph

  15. Oh Mel, I'm so sorry about Mako. I know how hard it is to say goodbye to a good companion. Our Elmo passed 2 years ago and I still miss hearing him bark and seeing his butt wag when he got excited.
    (((HUGS))) to you and the family.

  16. Mel, I am so sorry about Mako. We had Tess, and she died of cancer three years ago. She had been around as long as my oldest daughter. (who was 12 at the time) It was a hard transition.

    I told you about our 3 kitties that we lost in the house fire. That was devastating. We got through it, though.

    I empathize with your loss.

    Mako is in better place now, with no more labored breathing, chasing sticks and stealing food as much as wanted.

    I am sorry for your family. Glad the kids are taking it well.
    Go easy on yourself, grief doesn't make sense, it just is.


  17. Mel, I'm so sorry. He was just adorable. I'm deeply attached to my dog. I always joke that when she goes I will need to take a family leave from work. I'm joking but a little serious.
    They become such a huge part of the family and while it's hard to say good-bye, you have great memories to hold on to. Big hugs!!

  18. I couldn't finish reading in one sitting. I couldn't stop crying. We only knew Mako for a short time but fell in LOVE with him right away. I could tell that Dave was devastated. He will be greatly missed.

  19. oh so sorry, mel...I'm just reading this post. that is so hard, it just killed me every time we lost one of our dogs growing up. oh i do hope that you guys remember the good things about him and have more smiles over that than missing him. big hugs to you dear one!!!

  20. I am so sorry. I have no idea how I missed this on Twitter.

    We have put down a dog we love dearly and it was the hardest thing EVAH.

    Hope you are having fun with the girls this weekend.

  21. I'm sorry for your loss. We just lost our 14 year old dog that I got as a teen. I know how hard it is. Thoughts are with you.

  22. I'm really sorry for your loss, Mel. I am just catching up from last week so again, I'm sorry for not saying it sooner.

    Hopefully this finds you with lighter hearts.

  23. Just found your blog. I am a dog lover and have two of my own. {{Hugs}}. I am adding you to my blogroll 'cause I like your style. Come visit me sometime.


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