Thursday, June 23, 2011

The Annoying Mom at the Beach

Dear Annoying Mom at the Beach,

You must learn to RELAX!

It was painful to watch your neurotic behavior at the beach today as you screamed at your children when they moved even an inch out of your reach.  I get it.  The beach can be scary.  There are a lot of people. Big waves. Strong water. But sucking all the fun out of your beach trip as you yell, scream, hit, and go off at your children for doing nothing, but being children, was difficult to observe as I was watching my own kids enjoy their beach day.

Instead of trying to scare your children to death.  Teach them!  Teach them that when they fall they need to put their hands down and heads up to get out of the water, to watch the waves so they know when they are going to get knocked over.  Show them the black flags on the lifeguard stations that are numbered and remind them that anytime they can't see you to find that big ol' lifeguard chair with that number. Let them get wet. Let them get rolled by the waves.  Sit nearby and be on the ready for when they may really need your help.  And when they do, don't break their arm lifting them up, smack them on the face because they didn't listen, and scream that "I told you so".  Instead, ask them what happened. Congratulate them for keeping their head up. Smile and maybe even laugh at how they were rolling around in the waves.

Yes, your children must respect the ocean. But they shouldn't fear it.  They are children.  Let them play.  Let them explore.  Let them learn. They will be okay.  Meanwhile, stand on the sideline with a watchful eye, and be ready to take action when necessary. 

Oh and one more thing.  Trust your husband.  He was standing right there when your little boy got tossed by the wave.  I was watching too.  Your precious little ones face was not in the water for minutes as you accused.  Honestly, it probably wasn't more than a half a second.  You looked pretty ridiculous grabbing your son from his daddy's arms, yelling at your husband so everybody around you could hear, and then storming off squeezing the life out of your son.  I think the grabbing and squeezing could probably have done way more damage to him than that short roll in the sand did.

I hope you learn to relax while you are here.  You have a beautiful family and bright, healthy children so enjoy them. Calm down. Breathe. Have fun!

Your children will thank you later.
And all the other parents who had to endure your behavior will be most appreciative as well.

Beach Mom

In case you were wondering, no, I did not say anything to this mother even though on the inside I didn't shut up!  Many of you are pretty proud of me right now, aren't you?
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